By nature I am shy and dont open up. I think I get this from my father, which I dont get a long with because I resent him (i cant help it). When I have a kid I want to make sure she/he is confident and strong (my dad never enforced that on me). How can I make sure they will have good conversational skills, be strong & confident?

I think your line of thinking is correct, that we teach our children so much by example. If you’re worried that your own personality traits will develop by mere example in your child, perhaps you should work on changing those traits in yourself that you dislike. I don’t know for sure, but I’m thinking that if you’re overconcerned about your child developing social anxiety that you might end up creating just what you sought to dispel.

As a teen I realized that I had certain personality traits which were a direct result of my stepfather’s treatment. To say I resent him is putting it mildly, so that became my source of strength and determination in purging those traits from myself. It also helped me with parenting my sons, because I’m determined not to repeat what I experienced or be the cause of them feeling as I have felt. I hope that makes sense.