Both have the same symptoms like grandiose fantasies and feelings of insecurity, but how is it narcissistic unless you actually believe you are superior to others instead of merely wanting to be, since lots of people desire to be the best or feel insecure.

I agree – don’t think a (genuinely) "shy" narcissist exists.

Having said that I’m guessing my definitions may differ from your definitions of shy and Narcissist.

Those with Narcissist Personality Disorder do not suffer from it – everyone else does. No, NPD folks will not spend their time glued to a mirror, they seek attention & yea they can be insecure, my Ex husband certainly didn’t love himself.

But genuinely "shy", yeah…. I knew one who’d deliberately be "shy", She’d often openly hide under tables because she would get the attention she craved. Ignore it and she’d turn you into the next "evil" person she needed to be protected from.

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