How do you overcome shyness to be more at ease in social situations? I have been this way all my life and it seems it will never go away. I know everyone probably has this to some degree, but I think I have it to a ridiculous extent. It’s keeping me from finding a job (the thought of dealing with people I know I can’t handle), hanging out w/ friends (when I would be uncomfortable), living in the dorms (with strangers)… I know people are not concerned with me, or looking at me as much as I think they are, but I still have this anxiety.
In class I won’t answer-it stops me from saying anything. It’s hard for me to speak when needed, and forget speeches..It would be so much easier for my life if I was just social, but even the thought of being a cashier at a store-it makes me nervous. It’s like a bomboarding feeling to me, I already feel inferior to people for some reason..how might one hold a job with this? Though that is my primary concern, how can one overcome shyness in general?
i had this problem for many years and it held me back from doing so much in my life. what i did and this will sound stupid i know…i would think of someone who i knew personally who was able to handle the situation i was going into…and i would pretend i was them…i would use their mannerisms and would act like i felt they would act. it takes a while to get it down pat…but it actually does work…now i am in situations and the person i want to act like is me…and i am very comfortable presenting to people even in different languages now…previously i would shake so bad a couple of times i went into seizures…just take your time and do small doses…start with your doctor…and be assertive…what is the worst thing that could happen? you would be embarrased? you already are anyway so nothing to lose…good luck!
meet a really out going person u no 2 make friends and he/she may help
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i had this problem for many years and it held me back from doing so much in my life. what i did and this will sound stupid i know…i would think of someone who i knew personally who was able to handle the situation i was going into…and i would pretend i was them…i would use their mannerisms and would act like i felt they would act. it takes a while to get it down pat…but it actually does work…now i am in situations and the person i want to act like is me…and i am very comfortable presenting to people even in different languages now…previously i would shake so bad a couple of times i went into seizures…just take your time and do small doses…start with your doctor…and be assertive…what is the worst thing that could happen? you would be embarrased? you already are anyway so nothing to lose…good luck!
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ask yourself this one question…
do you have something valid to say?
most likely, you do
(you were honest enough to ask this question)
i went back to school (age 33)
3 years ago
and learned to speak up
(it took me two years)
now i’ve found my zone
you have to push yourself
it’s fun to jump into the deep end
(just make sure there’s water in the pool)
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What i would suggest is to put youself in a situation where you it is too late to turn back– you have to go talk to some person. Start doing this with a small group of people, or maybe just one person. Steadily talk to more people and eventually you will overcome more and more of you fear. It will take some time and you will feel uncomfortable, maybe even panicked, but just stick to it.
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drink booze
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Maybe it is a good quality. Maybe you can use it to become a good listener.
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