I’ve always been envious of those people that can just talk really easily to new people they meet and don’t seem to get nervous at all.
I have bad social anxiety, and its impossible for me to be myself when meeting new people, or be at all confident. I get really sick with anxiousness when I’m going somewhere I know a lot of people will be.
I need to get over this because I’m going to college soon and no-one I know will be there..
Is there anything I can do to stop this? Any tips…?
Take a speech class. This helpful, because you have to overcome it and everyone else is in the same boat. You are also thinking about other things, such as what you are speaking about, learning to become more organized and prepared around others, more composed, etc. Join some clubs where you can learn about something you are interested in, and be with others with similar interests. Volunteer to help others in some way. This will help you think of the people you are helping, and think less of your insecurities. It could be fun, too. Get a pet. They are nonjudgemental, help you get out with others (if it is a dog), fun when people say, "What a cute dog" and ask questions about the cutie. Or volunteer with a rescue league where you can help with the pets, but not own one if you are not in that position. Get more sleep, cut down on caffiene, eat a healthy diet, remember that we all have faults. We might be to short, too tall, fat, skinny (yes, they make fun of that, too), too talkative, too quiet, etc. You are you and you need to appreciate who you are. Try writing down everything about yourself you like or appreciate. Then, try thinking about these things, more often.
alot of people get nervous when being around people they dont know. this doesnt neccesarly mean you have social anxiety if this is your only problem with being in crowds and such. for instance i get nervous around people i do know and have known for a very long time i just cant help it.
if i were you i would see a doctor about this if you havnt already and really explain thurrowly your fears of new people. theyll decide if you have SA and chose a path to take based off of that.
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I recommend asking your Doctor for some medication, I’m in college, and I am on two. A sedating antidepressant for sleep/depression, and a beta blocker for day time TERROR!!!!
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One thing I used to do was just sort of stand behind myself and push so to speak..
What I would do was I would make myself say the first word of what I wanted to say… just saying one word isn’t that hard and once that’s out you kind of have to continue.
Also remember practice makes perfect.. I had a radio show, which started off pretty monosyllabic, then we had to do presentations in college… I’m still ridiculously anxious around people I really respect or really intelligent people, but with most of the people I meet, or even intelligent people that i feel i have a good read on, i just ramble away and don’t care what I say any more.
In college you will probably find far more like minded, supportive and encouraging people and you’ll gradually get more comfortable, that’s how it is for most people.. high school is hell!
Edit in response to other comments:
I would say that you are two young to worry about going to a doctor or anything, I was still painfully shy when I started college and that was only 4 years ago. Now I’m teaching and stand in front of classes every day without a bit of anxiety. Still certain situations freak me out, but it’s all just practice, I nearly fainted in front of my first class.
You’ll be fine, don’t worry.
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Meditation and relaxation can help, try relax and enjoy it by Dr Robert Sharpe (google it) addtionally some people are extroverts(social butterflys, looking outward) introverts (looking inwards) which generally you cant really change,although you can improve your skills, We all find it hard in certain situations, counselling can help and building your self-esteem/confidence
Good luck and dont worry, try and be yourself
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I suffer from social anxiety as well, along with depression and OCD. It sucks, believe me, I know. I was part of a group therapy session too, and that relally helped. You get to learn strategies to help manage your anxiety, get to meet ppl who know exactly how you feel, and it’s really helpful. One of the people in that group actually met a girl there who became his gf.
I’ve answered a lot of questions about anxiety too. I’ll edit if I find them again, and I’ll link you to them. I hope this helps, and just know that you aren’t alone.
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While I don’t have social anxiety, my generalized anxiety gets in the way of activities I’d like to do sometimes. The best thing to do is make yourself get out there. The hardest part is walking out the door, but here are some tips that have personally helped me out.
1. When meeting new people, go to a place you feel very comfortable with, or an activity you really enjoy. Local coffee shops are full of interesting people, and you can choose your level of interaction (maybe go a few times and just take the scene in. There’s no need to rush into meeting people, take your time!)
2. At college, join clubs or organizations and make a commitment to go to meetings. Having something in common (your club) will keep you from worrying over conversations, and break the ice nicely with others.
3. Be fair to yourself! Have your friends help you with this if you’d like, but write down a list of reasons why you are amazing. Maybe it’s your laugh, or your knowledge of lawn mower motors, or your shiny hair, anything you’re proud of. Tape that list to your mirror and read it before going out. Keep all the wonderful things about you in your head and confidence will come in time.
Good luck at college and make lifelong friends!
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This is a great course/product which helped me basically CURE myself of anxiety/panic attacks and stop them for good, check it out below:
http://doiop.com/6hg734
I highly recommend it, good luck.
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This is a pretty normal thing amongst all of us. As a matter of fact, many people suffer from this sort of thing (including myself). It’s just that some people can cope better than others.
From what you’ve described, there’s no need to throw up the red flag to the extent that you have to go see a doctor. You do have social anxiety yes, but it’s not a disorder. People with social anxiety disorder have all these symptoms you’ve mentioned, but because it’s so extreme, it affects their daily routine and their ability to function normally in everyday life. So no need for the doctors yet!
I was extremly shy like you too, and I had social anxiety as well right before I went to college a few years ago. Here are some ways you can deal with this:
1) If you’re ever invited to an event, tell a trusted friend or a best friend of yorus to tag along with you. If he/she is outgoing, that’s a plus. Observe how he/she would approach a social setting.
2) Talk to yoru friends about this issue. If you’re not comfortable talking on the phone, talk online (MSN, Facebook, etc). Or write an e-mail. That way, you can perhaps organize your thoughts much easier.
3) When you’re at a party, try to fascinate yourself with other people; ask them about themselves. Approach with a simple "Hello" and make small talk. I find that things get easier after that point.
4) If you do have a Facebook account, you can add friends and keep in touch with them. That’s the best way to get invites to parties other events, etc. That’s also a good opportunity to improve your social skills.
5) Join a club. There are people with diverse interests.
and
6) In college, there are usually gorups tailored to helping people cope with shyness. When you find that you’re still shy on the first few days of college, I urge you to check out for those types of groups. Go to like a counseling centre in yoru college and ask about them. Chances are they might have programs or groups or even clubs you can join with other shy people in them,
I find that those thigns above have helped me quite a bit. But of course, no-one expects everything to work overnight, it takes a bit of time. But remember, everyone is in the same boat! It’s normal!
I wish you all the best!
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Personal experience.
Take a speech class. This helpful, because you have to overcome it and everyone else is in the same boat. You are also thinking about other things, such as what you are speaking about, learning to become more organized and prepared around others, more composed, etc. Join some clubs where you can learn about something you are interested in, and be with others with similar interests. Volunteer to help others in some way. This will help you think of the people you are helping, and think less of your insecurities. It could be fun, too. Get a pet. They are nonjudgemental, help you get out with others (if it is a dog), fun when people say, "What a cute dog" and ask questions about the cutie. Or volunteer with a rescue league where you can help with the pets, but not own one if you are not in that position. Get more sleep, cut down on caffiene, eat a healthy diet, remember that we all have faults. We might be to short, too tall, fat, skinny (yes, they make fun of that, too), too talkative, too quiet, etc. You are you and you need to appreciate who you are. Try writing down everything about yourself you like or appreciate. Then, try thinking about these things, more often.
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