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My 12 year old Stepsons cries and shuts down all the time?
I have been with my wife since my step son was 3 years old. Since then he has always had social issues interacting with other kids and adults. He does not talk to other kids unless the ice has been broken for him to talk and become friends. The teachers say he has a lot of friends at school, but when he comes home he talks to none his friends and never wants to hang out with anyone. When faced with any sort of decision making he shuts down and cries and he can’t tell you why….”I don’t know why I’m crying”. For years we have been concerned but did nothing in fear that seeing a doctor would make it worse. Now it has gotten to the point where other kids laugh and make fun of him because he cries sometimes when someone asks him a question. Example: last year for his birthday we asked him what he wanted to do for his birthday party, he said “I don’t know”. Well the previous year we took a bunch kids laser quest and they all had a blast, and it was nice to see him interacting with other kids. Anyways, we gave him a few days to think about it, and asked him again. The same thing “I don’t know”. So I then decided to make up 4 cool options that I knew he and his friends would enjoy. We gave him the four options on cue cards with one blank one for him to make his own option if he didn’t like any of the four provided. Two days later we called him into our room to ask him if he decided he wanted to do, all he could do was stand there and cry. When we asked him why he was crying, “I don’t know” he would say over and over He couldn’t give us an answer. He didn’t want to do any of the suggested ideals nor did he want to create his own (which is fine) but yet he could not tell us why, HE REALLY DIDN’T KNOW….
It really is strange because for years I have tried to look for a pattern that triggers this (not enough sleep, too much sugar, stress, pressure, lack of attention) and I have been unable to figure this out. So we decide to go see a Doctor and explain. The Doctors say its social anxiety and that we should put him on Prozac and or see a therapist. We are strongly against Prozac for a young child especially after reading the suicide rate in children on Prozac. We tried a therapist but he too was unable to get our child to open up. He would just sit there and cry when asked questions and say “I don’t know”
My question is, now what? Does anyone have any firsthand experience with this or any similar cases in other children they have seen? We are lost and concerned and
Please don’t get me wrong, this is a good kid who does well in school and loves his family, brother and sister, but once or twice a month has incident like the example explained here.
Any constructive feedback would be much appreciated. Thank you
Please go see a counsellor maybe a school counsellor for this kind of problem.
Only a School Counsellor will truly be able to help you in this situation at least a school will be able to help you much better than anyone here in Yahoo! Answers will.
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I was just wondering if anyone has heard of social anxiety in children? I tried to go on a date tonight and got so nervous that I threw up (this has happened before) well I am 29. So I got home and started thinking way back into my life and I am thinking I might have been having this my whole life. I am really embarassed to talk to my doctor about it too, I know I shouldn’t be but every time I try to, I chicken out, so I was just wondering if people out there with this condition have had it a long time or if it just all of a sudden develops.
Believe it or not, I have that "disorder". I become ill in social areas. I have anxiety, I sweat, I`m nervous and I just want to exit-Fast. I began having this in my early 20`s. Doctors cannot do anything about this. Although, ! remedy that works for me is, I take a shot of vodka then a breath mint before I socialize. I do not recommend this for just anyone. But, it helps me greatly. p.s. I don’t drive after -S
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is an anxiety disorder that can develop after experiencing or witnessing a major trauma. Children and teens with PTSD can have a number of symptoms after a trauma that fall into three categories:
1. Reliving the trauma in some way.
2. Attempts to avoid anything that reminds the child or teen of the trauma.
3. Very high anxiety (also called “hyperarousal”) and being easily startled. Children and teens with PTSD usually have some symptoms from each of these categories.
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Anxiety BC – http://anxietybc.com/parent/post.php
Duration : 0:4:37
By nature I am shy and dont open up. I think I get this from my father, which I dont get a long with because I resent him (i cant help it). When I have a kid I want to make sure she/he is confident and strong (my dad never enforced that on me). How can I make sure they will have good conversational skills, be strong & confident?
I think your line of thinking is correct, that we teach our children so much by example. If you’re worried that your own personality traits will develop by mere example in your child, perhaps you should work on changing those traits in yourself that you dislike. I don’t know for sure, but I’m thinking that if you’re overconcerned about your child developing social anxiety that you might end up creating just what you sought to dispel.
As a teen I realized that I had certain personality traits which were a direct result of my stepfather’s treatment. To say I resent him is putting it mildly, so that became my source of strength and determination in purging those traits from myself. It also helped me with parenting my sons, because I’m determined not to repeat what I experienced or be the cause of them feeling as I have felt. I hope that makes sense.
If not then how does a child develop social anxiety?
Yes, a baby can be born with social anxiety. I can learn it in the womb.
A child can also learn it four other ways:
1 by experiencing a situation where the child is upset by an event (classical conditioning)
2 watching a person be upset by an event (social learning)
3 be told a story of a person being being upset by an event (social learning)
4 Being rewarded for being upset by an event (Opponent Conditioning)
how can we encourage more appropriate social behaviors? what activities are effective in helping a child develop positive social skills? What social skills are most important for a child to have?
When it comes to social skills, the best way is to let the child interact with other children of the same age group. Hence, a child care center would do wonders for this. Also, emphasis & support from the parents during a child’s play time is also very important in developing their innate skills. Children are naturally curious about the world around them and as adults we should provide a nurturing and caring environment that enhances these capabilities. Also, we should stimulate their learning as well. Social behaviors vary from child to child, depending on their home background. This is why parents have a major role and responsibility in caring for their children. Parents need to play with their children, it truly helps them. Hope I helped.
Anxiety BC – http://anxietybc.com/index.php
When anxiety causes distress or interference that is much greater than anxiety experienced by other children of the same age, it may be called an anxiety disorder. In this case, the term “disorder” simply indicates that the anxiety problem is significant enough and has lasted long enough (usually at least a number of weeks or months) to be considered a problem that warrants intervention. Commonly, children and teens experience anxiety problems that are characteristic of more than one anxiety disorder. Fortunately, the helpful approaches are similar for various anxiety problems.
If your child has been diagnosed as having a mild to moderate anxiety disorder, it will most likely fit into this list of seven anxiety disorders and subtypes:
Separation Anxiety Disorder
Specific Phobias
social anxiety Disorder
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
Panic Disorder
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
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Anxiety BC – http://anxietybc.com/parent/anxiety.php
Duration : 0:4:45
Just wondering if my children are doomed because "mom" has social Phobia. They are 3 and 4… they both have speech delays because I was never able to get them out.
Now they are in full-day preschool/daycare while I am now starting therapy!
I hope they won’t end up like me 
I guess my question is, "Do my children still have a chance to become social people, even though they both have speech delays?" Our daughter is almost 5 and still can not string words together to have a "conversation" with…. I know I am to blame for this because she hasn’t gotten out of the house until 6 weeks ago when we decided to put them in full day preschool/daycare.
You have identified your problem so they are not likely to be "doomed." You can always talk to their teachers and school counselors to get some guidance on this too. They are not doomed.
Also schools usually have a specialist to help with speech delays, at least in my memory of elementary school.
(this doesn’t answer your direct question but I think this way of putting it will be useful to you along with other people’s answers)