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My 12 year old Stepsons cries and shuts down all the time?
I have been with my wife since my step son was 3 years old. Since then he has always had social issues interacting with other kids and adults. He does not talk to other kids unless the ice has been broken for him to talk and become friends. The teachers say he has a lot of friends at school, but when he comes home he talks to none his friends and never wants to hang out with anyone. When faced with any sort of decision making he shuts down and cries and he can’t tell you why….”I don’t know why I’m crying”. For years we have been concerned but did nothing in fear that seeing a doctor would make it worse. Now it has gotten to the point where other kids laugh and make fun of him because he cries sometimes when someone asks him a question. Example: last year for his birthday we asked him what he wanted to do for his birthday party, he said “I don’t know”. Well the previous year we took a bunch kids laser quest and they all had a blast, and it was nice to see him interacting with other kids. Anyways, we gave him a few days to think about it, and asked him again. The same thing “I don’t know”. So I then decided to make up 4 cool options that I knew he and his friends would enjoy. We gave him the four options on cue cards with one blank one for him to make his own option if he didn’t like any of the four provided. Two days later we called him into our room to ask him if he decided he wanted to do, all he could do was stand there and cry. When we asked him why he was crying, “I don’t know” he would say over and over He couldn’t give us an answer. He didn’t want to do any of the suggested ideals nor did he want to create his own (which is fine) but yet he could not tell us why, HE REALLY DIDN’T KNOW….
It really is strange because for years I have tried to look for a pattern that triggers this (not enough sleep, too much sugar, stress, pressure, lack of attention) and I have been unable to figure this out. So we decide to go see a Doctor and explain. The Doctors say its social anxiety and that we should put him on Prozac and or see a therapist. We are strongly against Prozac for a young child especially after reading the suicide rate in children on Prozac. We tried a therapist but he too was unable to get our child to open up. He would just sit there and cry when asked questions and say “I don’t know”
My question is, now what? Does anyone have any firsthand experience with this or any similar cases in other children they have seen? We are lost and concerned and
Please don’t get me wrong, this is a good kid who does well in school and loves his family, brother and sister, but once or twice a month has incident like the example explained here.
Any constructive feedback would be much appreciated. Thank you
Please go see a counsellor maybe a school counsellor for this kind of problem.
Only a School Counsellor will truly be able to help you in this situation at least a school will be able to help you much better than anyone here in Yahoo! Answers will.
Both have the same symptoms like grandiose fantasies and feelings of insecurity, but how is it narcissistic unless you actually believe you are superior to others instead of merely wanting to be, since lots of people desire to be the best or feel insecure.
I agree – don’t think a (genuinely) "shy" narcissist exists.
Having said that I’m guessing my definitions may differ from your definitions of shy and Narcissist.
Those with Narcissist Personality Disorder do not suffer from it – everyone else does. No, NPD folks will not spend their time glued to a mirror, they seek attention & yea they can be insecure, my Ex husband certainly didn’t love himself.
But genuinely "shy", yeah…. I knew one who’d deliberately be "shy", She’d often openly hide under tables because she would get the attention she craved. Ignore it and she’d turn you into the next "evil" person she needed to be protected from.
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Looking for most popular book that works that provides step-by-step lessons. Also, if you overcomed social phobia, please provide some insights.
I liked
Erika B.Hillard:Living fully with shyness and social anxiety, NY,2005
a lot: practical and informative. (Read the readers reviews on Amazon.com.)
I have recently taken several on line tests from which i have found out that i may have social anxiety disorder. I have no insurance, or doctor that i can go to. What would you recommend for me to do in order to get examined and if diagnosed to get some treatment? I live in Illinois close to Chicago. I would greatly appreciate your advice.
Why not treat it with a combination of vitamins, exercise and possibly some calming herbal supplements?
While for the vitamins, going to a good doctor would be helpful as they can do a blood test and determine if you have any vitamin deficiencies or any other underlying causes of how you’re feeling (such as an underactive thyroid, hormonal imbalance or a lack of certain amino acids) you might want to start by taking some good multi-vitamins.
If you’re not exercising regularly, beginning a regular program of exercise is another way you can combat anxiety. Evidence suggests that exercise postively affects the levels of certain mood-enhancing neurotransmitters in the brain. Exercise may also boost feel-good endorphins, release tension in muscles, help you sleep better and reduce levels of the stress hormone cortisol. It also increases body temperature, which may have calming effects. All of these changes in your mind and body can improve such symptoms as sadness, anxiety, irritability, stress, fatigue, anger, self-doubt and hopelessness.
And finally, here are some herbal supplements that may help you (herbs are available at the corner drug store and at health food stores):
Kava (Piper methysticum) is a member of the pepper family that has been cultivated by Pacific Islanders for over 3000 years for use as a social and ceremonial drink. The first description of kava came to the west with Captain James Cook, who traveled through the South Seas in a number of celebrated voyages. To this day, when village elders or others in the Pacific Islands come together for a significant meeting, they begin with an elaborate kava ceremony. Currently, kava is used in Europe and increasingly in the United States to treat stress, anxiety, and insomnia.
Valerian: Nature’s valium. Another favorite for the treatment of anxiety is valerian. Derived from the dried rhizomes and roots of this tall plant, which grows in wet soil in many countries, valerian has been used for thousands of years as a folk remedy. As a natural relaxant, it is useful for several disorders including restlessness, nervousness, insomnia, menstural problems, and "nervous" stomach. Valerian acts on the brain’s GABA receptors to produce a tranquilizing action that is similar to Valium-type drugs, but without the same side effects.
I have very bad social anxiety & I am going to a party out of town for a friends birthday. I always get nervous before going into any social situations especially when i dont know anyone. Are there any techniques to help me calm down and control my anxiety ?
Been there i have it too it really helps if you know people there just hang out with the people you know and you should be ok
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